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Life As It Happens Politics

Driving a truck to Ukraine

Conrad Brunner

This all starts with my friend, Conrad Brunner, who I worked with at PokerStars, back in the early aughts. I will leave the initial description of Conrad to Victoria Coren-Mitchell, a grand dame of British journalism and TV. Vicky and Conrad played in home poker games together back in the day, and she remembered him when she wrote her poker memoir, For Richer, For Poorer:

But Conrad always says thank you. Conrad is awfully polite, very pukka. I think he might be related to an earl. He is easy-going and smiley, possessed of a genuinely optimistic temperament. God knows what he’s doing playing poker. Must have taken a wrong turn one day. He runs a charity tournament every Christmas, to raise money for a cancer hospital. He’s the nicest guy that ever comes here.

I mentioned him to a mutual colleague, who said, “What I remember about Conrad is that he always wore a sport coat.” Which was true, even when everybody else was in hoodies and trainers. I follow almost nobody on Facebook, but I continued to follow Conrad because, well, because Conrad was a breath of fresh air.

Then, when the war in Ukraine broke out Putin invaded Ukraine, Conrad Brunner and his family took a Ukrainian woman and her son into their home. Ms. Coren-Mitchell’s keen poker eye was also a fine judge of character.

One thing led to another, and then Conrad fell in with an organization called Pick-ups for Peace, made up of Scottish farmers. Mostly ex-military. Now, if you ever wanted to Get Shit Done, starting with a bunch of ex-military Scottish farmers sounds perfect.

“P4P” purchases used pick-ups – mostly 4×4’s. They fill them up with medical supplies, and then they drive them to Ukraine. They hand the entire package, pick-up and all, over to the Ukrainian military. So far, they’ve delivered 338 pick-ups, all packed with life-saving supplies.

They reckon that every pick-up saves at least one life.

[Post-convoy note: our convoy contained vehicle #400. The trucks just keep coming.]

In March of 2024, Conrad’s wife, Cecily, and a co-driver, Katie, collected donations, purchased and outfitted a 4×4, and drove it to Lviv, Ukraine.

In April, Conrad himself, and his co-driver, James, raised money to purchase a pick-up, loaded it up, and drove it to Lviv.

More than money

Over the past decade or so, I’ve decided that the way I best help change the world is send money to places where it can make a difference. I’ve been absurdly fortunate financially, and I can give far more than most. And I seem to be pretty good at making more money. So rather than canvass during elections or work on phone banks, I spend time trying to make more money, then send it to the most effective organizations.
But I’m an old man now, and I’m feeling the need to get my hands dirtier. To put my boots on the ground. As I watched Conrad, and Cecily and all those ex-military Scottish farmers, I thought…

“I want to drive a 4×4 to Ukraine.”

It seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. I’m retired – I don’t owe my time to The Man. I don’t think it’s particularly dangerous, but…

I was out for a hike with my friend, Jennifer, whom I’ve known for over 20 years. I told her about Pick-ups For Peace, and my plan to drive one of these 4×4’s to Ukraine. She paused.

“Is it safe?”

“I mean, probably…”

Jennifer stopped me. “That’s not really the point, is it?”

No, that’s not really the point. Life makes no promises. The county in which we live, Alameda, in the San Francisco Bay Area, has a per capita freeway gun violence rate five times higher than Los Angeles County (per this report). Three days ago, a woman driving to her shift as an emergency services dispatcher for Alameda County was struck and killed by a drunk driver, less than a mile from our house.

I have a great life and would like to continue it for a good while longer. But if it’s going to be cut short, far better it be while driving a pick-up to Ukraine than driving home from the poker club.

The details

I’m confirmed for Pickup For Peace’s August convoy. In a stroke of unbelievable fortune, Conrad has volunteered to be my co-driver. Obviously I immediately accepted. Also, after some soul-searching, I decided to raise external funds (rather than pay for it out of my pocket). I am persuaded that inviting people to donate raises awareness. Hell, somebody might go from getting out their credit card to driving a truck. If I make one person do that, then the fundraising will have been well worth it.

You can donate to my trip here:
[Post-convoy note. We went above and beyond our dollar target – something that still blows my mind. If you wish to donate, please do so directly to Pick-ups For Peace.]

If you donate at JustGiving (the link above) they’ll ask for a “generous” tip. There’s a small “custom tip” button next to the slider, feel free to adjust to something you consider fair. I considered $1.50 fair. If you want to send crypto, get in touch with me and we’ll work something out. I’ll be happy to take your crypto and make a credit card donation on your behalf.

Whether you send money or not, thank you for your support – every good thought you send my way is felt and deeply appreciated.
Best, Lee

Monday, July 29, 2024

The money flowed in

The response I got to the fundraiser was absolutely overwhelming. Amounts large and small came in. Some of the small amounts were particularly overwhelming because they came from donors that I know aren’t awash in discretionary funds. People dug deep – I am humbled and honored by that.

Your truck, sir

During the intervening time, Conrad has done the heavy lifting. P4P had located the correct vehicle and purchased it. They also painted and did maintenance on it.

That’s Conrad and our Toyota HiLux truck. Think good thoughts for me driving a truck with (a) right-hand drive, and (b) a clutch. The good news is that I did both with relative ease when I was living in the Isle of Man, so it’s not as dramatic as it might sound.

Fill ‘er up

Conrad also took the truck to the supply depot somewhere in the south of England, where it was provisioned with medical supplies by Valentyna and her team. I’m being a bit vague about this for reasons that you can probably work out. If you can’t, read this article about Putin sending agents into the UK to poison a former Russian spy and his daughter.
One thing that I can be specific about is a supply that is being distributed across some of the trucks in the convoy – body bags.

War is body bags

This request came into the convoy’s WhatsApp group:

So I’m no expert on war, but I know one thing: war is not the cool hip recruiting ads for the Army and Marines that you see on TV. They make war look like a video game, which is bullshit.

War is body bags, and our convoy is taking body bags to Ukraine.

How much misery can you load onto a single trailer?

Getting on an airplane

I’m flying to the UK in less than a week. I have a couple of days to get over jet lag and see some old PokerStars friends. Then Conrad and I throw our backpacks in the truck and head east.
Your good wishes will mean the world to me.

Friday, August 2, 2024

The trip has begun

I won’t be providing specific details here – they’re not terribly important. My wife knows where I’ll be day by day, and I’ll be updating here whenever it seems interesting.

By the way, if you’re reading this, there’s a decent chance you have my contact info. If you don’t, reach me on the contact page and I’ll get back to you.

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

Load it up

I got to Conrad’s house today at 5:00pm. We hadn’t seen each other in ten (?) years. We spent about 30 seconds saying our hellos, then he, his son Isaac, and I started loading the truck.

I had to look it up to be sure – a “theatre pack” is a special package of clean “linen” to surround a surgical operating site. I know what a syringe is.

I didn’t have to look these up

By 6:15p, the truck was all loaded.

I’m good at this

One of the most heartening comments I’ve gotten from a few people, whose opinion I value, is that this is my lane. So far, there have been a couple of spots where I thought, “My nature, and my experiences over the last 67 years, have made me well-suited to this gig.” Even something as mundane as figuring out how to release a ratchet strap – it’s some combination of physical problem solving ability with a persistence to continue at it until I unravel the issue.

I’d like to think that loading this truck up and getting it to Lviv is something for which I’m a natural choice. I’d also like to think that my dad, were he alive, would be proud of what I’m doing. He would have raised an eyebrow at my struggling with the ratchet strap, rather than finding a diagram or instructions, but all roads lead to the same destination.

Tight fit

Everything is in the truck. Almost. Our suitcases are not. I think there’s room for them in the back seat. There’s some chance I’ll have to jettison everything but the absolutely necessary, leave the rest of it at Conrad’s house, and come back to Brighton to pick it up on return. I hope that won’t be necessary, but I have complete clarity that if that’s what’s needed, then my suitcase, not a box of syringes, stays back.

[Post-convoy note: I ultimately strapped my suitcase under the tarp with the boxes. Then we had a tarp failure at 80 mph in Germany. We pulled over at the next service station – my initial assessment was that my suitcase was gone. I then saw it had shifted but not gone out. Fortunately, two of our fellow trucks were at the station, and one of them had room for the suitcase in the actual cab.]

Bound for France

We leave tomorrow. Think good thoughts for us. Those of you who know me from the poker world know that I don’t wish poker players good luck. I wish them good decisions – the luck will sort itself out one way or another. So wish us good decisions, good planning, and determination.

See you from the road somewhere. If the laptop makes the packing cut.

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

And they’re off

My suitcase went under the tarp in back and then everything fit. We left on schedule and had an easy trip to the Chunnel. British customs checked our passports, and waved us through. French customs checked our passports and waved us through. But then the French police wouldn’t give us no peace – they claimed that we were nasty persons.

Not exactly, but they did pull us over and ask what was in the truck. So we got out and told them. Then they went through our luggage, took a big knife and cut open a few boxes at random. At some point I described the events as them “tossing the truck.” Ever thereafter, that’s the phrase Conrad used to describe the delay.

We were both persuaded that the olive drab military spray paint job didn’t do us any favors in terms of getting pulled over.

They asked if the vehicle was staying in the Ukraine, and I thought,

“FML. This is where they impound the vehicle and the supplies and maybe us.”

They asked if it would be used for military purposes, and we said we didn’t know – we just left the stuff there.

After 25-30 minutes they sent us on our way, but the head guy said (in French) to 2-3 trainees in the group, “If I wanted to be a bastard, I could impound the truck.”

We repacked the truck in the most haphazard way imaginable –I told Conrad we could sort rainproofing later but I wanted a lot of gone between us and the sidearm-carrying gendarmes.

We’re under the English Channel as we speak, sitting in the car, which is sitting on a car-train. First challenge level achieved.

If it’s 9:00pm, I must be in Köln

There’s really not much to say. We zipped across France, Belgium, and into Germany. Google Maps took excellent care of us at every turn, though to be fair, there weren’t that many of those.

We stopped for “lunch” at a service station in Belgium, where we filled up the diesel (74 EUR), and then ate in the Shell Cafe. Which is called the Shell Cafe because it’s in a Shell Station, so it’s everything you’d expect from that combination.

We made it to our hotel at 5:00pm, relaxed for a bit, and then had dinner right in the hotel restaurant. This enabled Conrad to get wiener schnitzel, and me to kick his ass at Open Face Chinese Poker, despite never having played the 2-7-in-the-middle variant. And yes, the deck picked me.

We’re having an early night tonight – we hit the hotel breakfast at 7:00am and then get on the road. I think it’s going to be a 12:00 hour day – 9.5 hours of driving and a couple of hours of leg-stretching. We spend the night in Poland tomorrow night, and then things get really serious.

This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco

Our WhatsApp group is filled with reports (and live location tracking) of the others in our group. Obviously, every one of them is a star. But what I don’t get is that many of them are taking side trips, either to historical sites (including some brave enough to visit Buchenwald), or scenic detours.

I don’t get this. If ever there was a “You had one job” situation, this is it. Every minute we’re out on the road, it’s another opportunity for Something to go Wrong. For instance, one team lost a tire in a fairly spectacular way.

That’s certainly not their fault, but it seems that taking on extra risk for side trips, even socially and personally important ones, isn’t keeping our eyes on the one goal each team has. That’s to deliver the truck and supplies to Lviv. Everything else can wait.

[Post-drop-off update: I need to note here a pair of our drivers who left on Sunday, planning a leisurely five-day drive to the rendezvous point in eastern Poland. Early in the trip, the vehicle all but stopped running, limiting them to 20 mph driving. Taking the “You had one job” mantra far beyond the call of duty, they limped across Europe, sleeping by the side of the road, living on the snacks they had brought, and getting temporary repairs when possible. Somehow, they kicked and dragged that truck to the Polish/Ukrainian border Friday night. The Ukrainian military will no doubt drop a new engine in it and then that truck will save lives. All because they refused to give up. They are absolute rock stars.]

This ain’t no foolin’ around.

Thanks for reading, and good night. See you in the morning.

Thursday, August 8, 2024

Get in the truck and drive until something makes you stop

Oh yeah, the driving. Piece of cake. We listened to a couple Nate Silver and Maria Konnikova “Risky Business” podcasts, and three episodes of the “Criminal” podcast. Both highly recommended. This isn’t a poker blog, but if you’re a poker content consumer (Conrad and I both are), Charlie Wilmoth’s “Third Man Walking” is a must-listen. Conrad and I basically nodded and agreed with everything he said throughout the episode we listened to.

There was a lot of this.

Conrad also made the mistake of asking for a bluegrass sampler. I gave him “Ballad of Jed Clampett” (seemed like a good introduction to Scruggs banjo), then “Uncle Pen,” and “Old Train” – Tony Rice version. He told me how his mom, a professional classical violinist, fell in love with Jay Ungar, whose old-time fiddle playing became the soundtrack to Ken Burns’ Civil War documentary series. I knew of Jay Ungar through his work on Jerry Douglas’s Transatlantic Sessions albums.

Given that we were in that vein, I gave him a brief history of old-time music (old-time is not bluegrass is not old-time). If your mom’s a violin player, you’re probably a sucker for good fiddling, and Conrad was. I dropped Little Billy Wilson on him, and we just grinned at each other for the next five minutes.

The kilometers flew by and we stopped only when the fuel tank or our bladders demanded it.

I also want to give a special shout-out to T-Mobile, whose service has been absolutely rock solid from the UK to Ukraine. Generally the only way I knew we had crossed an international border was because my phone would ding with a text from T-Mobile saying, “Hi Lee! Welcome to Belgium. Free texts, 5 Gb of data per month, and $.25/minute for voice.” I rarely praise big multi-nationals, but T-Mobile’s service was integral to the success of our trip.

The Polish forest

The whole team spent the night at a hunting lodge in Poland – one of those places that time has forgotten. There was literally nothing memorable about it, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to get a decent night’s sleep and be on the road early the next morning.

Friday, August 9, 2024

And damned if we weren’t. Vince said breakfast at 6:30am, group photo at 7:00am, last truck off the grounds at 7:15am. I noted that Conrad and I were pulling out at 6:58am.

I should spend a moment on Vince G. He runs the show. He is relaxed and easygoing, right down to the shorts, no-peek socks, and leather moccasins. Sitting with a cappuccino and a cigarette, reading his phone, he looks like a well-to-do businessman taking a holiday but not quite able to escape the office. In fact, Vince is the nerve center of the P4P ground operation.

And children, I’ll tell you another thing: my one super-power is an uncanny ability to spot the smartest person in the room. When Vince G walks in, that title is spoken for.

Our destination was a store parking lot in eastern Poland, near the Ukrainian border. Apparently Conrad had it from Vince that we were supposed to be there at 12:00pm, 1:00pm latest, with a 2:00pm departure for the Ukrainian border.

I looked at Google Maps and said, “Conrad, it’s five and a half hours of driving from where we started, to that store. If we literally didn’t stop, which we can’t do, we’d be there at 12:30. And that’s assuming we hit no traffic, etc.”

Part of the problem here was James Martin. I got to visit briefly with him once we were in Lviv, and it’s clear that he has distilled the “You have one job” mantra down to its absolute essence. Within the WhatsApp group that the convoy had, we could see on a Google map where everybody was. And way out there in front, hours ahead of everybody else, was James Martin, and his driving partner, Patrick.

“Do you think,” I wondered, “That they’re not real people? Like – they’re NPCs created by Vince to exhort us to faster, more efficient driving?”

I am now persuaded that James and Patrick are real people. But I will lay odds that you won’t see them in the group picture that we took Friday morning at the Polish hunting lodge. Nope, I bet they were out at first light, hauling their truck east. Superstars.

We made it to the store parking lot around 1:30pm, which I thought was very respectable time. The lot filled with P4P vehicles was a beautiful sight – and there was light at the end of the tunnel.

Onto Ukraine

From there, it was a one-hour drive to the Ukrainian border, and Vince wanted us all together. They had an arrangement with the border authorities to get us to the front of the line as a group (this is how P4P rolls) so we couldn’t have any ringers in the pack.

It was a humbling, beautiful sight to see all the trucks finally rolling along together toward the border, but the best was yet to come.

The hour flew by and soon we were at the border crossing. As I’d later understand, first we had to clear Polish customs, then drive 10 meters to Ukrainian customs.

On the Polish side, the border guard checked our passports and had us flip back the tarp (Dad, I am now a godd*mn master of ratchet buckles now), but just a handful of minutes and we were through. Neither of us, at any point, saw a Polish border guard actually inspect our load. This was deeply appreciated, compared to the French guards tossing the vehicle.

Hurry up and wait

Ukrainian customs was a whole different matter. It wasn’t so much that they were inspecting the cargo as the paperwork. They took our passports and vehicle registration, and disappeared inside the building. So there we sat, in no-man’s land, without a shred of useful documentation, waiting to be allowed through.

Careful where you choose to pee

While we waited, one of our fellow drivers, Emily, told a story about her previous P4P run (yes, there are angels among us). She was sitting in this no-man’s land, without her passport, and needed to pee (finding good times to pee was always a bit of a struggle, especially if you were James Martin’s co-driver). Emily saw a big open gate with a restroom on the other side (pointing to it as she told the tale), so she did the obvious thing – she walked through the gate, went in the restroom, and peed. Then she came back out and saw that the gate was closed. And now there were armed Ukrainian border guards yelling “Що в біса ти там робиш?!?!” at her.

“So you were f*cked, right?”

“Very f*cked.”

Emily had literally crossed the border back into Poland. Without her passport. Some amount of chaos ensued, but the right people stepped in, and she was let back through the gate. Emily’s WhatsApp avatar now has the “International Incident Challenge” badge on it. And yet, she re-upped for another trip. What a rock star.

The Right People

When I say the “Right people” stepped in to rescue Emily, there are three specific names that come to mind – the aforementioned Vince, Iryna the Translator, and Oleg the Ukrainian lawyer.

Vince, as I said, is charge of the whole operation. He’s British, has a Ukrainian wife, and has various enterprises in Ukraine. When the war started, he threw everything he had into helping the Ukrainians.

Iryna manages a company in Lviv (I think that’s correct) but spends her “spare time” acting as a translator for P4P and similar organizations.

I think I spoke to Oleg for maybe a word or two, but man, I am glad we have him and his shoulder-bag on our side.

As a guy who worked for The Man for 40 years, I’ve been around a lot of organizations. I’ve seen good ones, great ones, and awful ones. P4P is a Swiss Ukrainian watch. Every single person I dealt with across the organization was focused, efficient, and competent. After experiencing the team first-hand, I felt I’d made an excellent investment of my time and money.

Anyway, Conrad and I were some of the very last ones to get our passports back. I don’t know how Conrad felt, but as long as I could see Vince, Irina, and Oleg in my field of view, I had absolutely no concerns.

There was a guy in jeans and a t-shirt who was the Willie Wonka of the whole situation. He was the person who would ultimately show up with your passports, and a piece of paper the size of a credit card, that had a stamp on it.

Vince: “When they give you that piece of paper, do not lose it. You will drive 100 meters and hand it to a guard with an automatic weapon. They will let you through. Without that piece of paper, you will not go through.”

Conrad was driving, so I had to hold the piece of paper. No pressure.

Just a few meters past the piece of paper hand-off, all the trucks were lined up beside the road, waiting for the last of us. Finally the last few came in, and a Ukrainian police car pulled in to act as the back of the convoy.

We drove another 100 meters and there was a blue and yellow sign, with one word on it:

Ukraine

I got a chill down my spine. This was actually happening. But the chills were just beginning, because another few hundred meters ahead:

They had blocked traffic coming toward the border, and many people had gotten out of their vehicles to wave and cheer at us.

I am rarely lost for words, but both at the time, and at this moment as I write, I cannot express the emotions I was feeling. I know I said to Conrad,

“This made it all worthwhile.”

Headed into town

It was a 70-minute drive to Lviv city center, and Vince had warned us that people would try to cut into the convoy. We had been told to stop for nothing, including red lights. Conrad had a harrowing tale from his previous trip of narrowly missing a young woman pedestrian who had crossed through the middle of the convoy.

Somehow, none of that happened this time. I was worried exactly zero because we had the address of the town hall where we were supposed to meet and Google Maps (“Hello Lee, welcome to Ukraine…”) had it locked and loaded. But it was an undeniable rush to be in the middle of an actual convoy.

Halfway into town, the Universe gave us a big double thumbs-up too:

We made it to the Lviv town hall with zero issues – and I’ll admit your adrenaline pumps when you’re running red light after red light. Clearly the traffic skids had been greased – there were cars pulled onto the shoulder going in the opposite direction.

Mission accomplished

It was all a bit anti-climatic. We pulled into the parking lot in front of the “town hall.” A few people were standing around guiding us into parking places, and Conrad backed the truck in with me outside, giving guidance.

Conrad turned off the engine, and a wave of relief and joy came over me. At that moment, I didn’t care about anything else: we had one job – and we’d done it.

People stood around and took some pictures, but I just wanted to be in the moment – to look at over three dozen vehicles and see the happiness of not only our fellow drivers, but locals who were attracted to all the commotion. Most of the trucks, including ours, had been painted a drab olive green before the trip, so there could be no mistaking their purpose.

Random people walked up to us and gave us a thumbs-up, or said thank you.

Our orders were to get our personal belongings out of the truck, leave the keys in the ignition, and be on our way. I threw our remaining snacks in the front seat. I had kept my computer backpack with me, and thought I should find the truck with my suitcase in it. Turns out it had already been loaded into a small bus that was going to the hotel, so I’d be apart from it for a bit longer – never had I cared less about the possibility of losing my luggage.

Some trip veterans said that the hotel was a 500-meter walk through the center of town, and wouldn’t that be more fun? I mean, is that even a question? Conrad had already been caught up in another group, so some multi-trip vets took me in and we had a glorious stroll to the hotel.

They ultimately realized they weren’t fully sure where the hotel was, but I fired up Google Maps – it and T-Mobile got us there easily. On the way, we passed by a blind busker expertly playing a lute-like instrument, and singing beautifully in Ukrainian. It was as if Doc Watson had come back, and decided to settle in Lviv, rather than Boone. If you know me, you know that I had to stop and take it in – my little group was so gracious about letting me spend a few precious minutes there. I put a €10 note in his jar, and on we went.

Decompression

The little bus was unloading as we arrived at our hotel, and I saw my suitcase come out of the back just as I walked up.

The Leopolis (think “Lion City”) Hotel is less than 20 years old, and thoroughly modern and luxurious in every respect. A young woman was standing at the entrance issuing room keys to everybody, and within a couple of minutes, I was settling into my excellent room, overlooking a bustling square in the city.

They told us on the WhatsApp group that there were sandwiches waiting for us in the hotel bar, and I realized that I hadn’t really eaten since our 6:30am breakfast. It was going on 4:00pm, and yeah, I could eat a sandwich.

The rest of the evening was socializing and hanging out. There are some great stories of friendship, community, and experience from our 36 hours in Lviv, and I may write those down sometime. Mostly so I’ll remember them.

But I want this narrative to be about us taking the truck to Lviv, and why we did it.

Saturday, August 10th, 2024

Cemetery

We got up for a great buffet breakfast, and the bus left at 9:00am for the cemetery. Ocsana, our tour guide, talked a little bit on the 15-minute drive, and then we went around a corner…

We all got out of the bus, and Ocsana began telling us about the cemetery, its history and so on. She is a fine guide and was doing a great job, but I couldn’t listen any longer.

I had to walk up into that field and hear what they had to tell me.

29 years old

There were one or more photos on every grave, making it all the more heart-rending. At some graves, there were mothers and/or widows. Most were in black track suits, and were meticulously tending to the flowers, electric candles, and other decorations.

The ages ranged from sub-20 to 60’s, centered around mid-30’s I’d say. My younger son is 37.

27 years old

Stalin once said, “When one person dies, it’s a tragedy; when a million people die, it’s a statistic.” But you need to hear some statistics:

  • The 2023 population of Ukraine was 36 million, down about 15% from the 2021 population.
  • From an August 2023 Congressional report (exactly a year ago): “In just a year and a half, Ukraine’s military deaths have already surpassed the number of American troops who died during the nearly two decades U.S. units were in Vietnam (roughly 58,000).”

    For context, the U.S. population in 1970 (the height of the Vietnam war) was 200 million. The current population of Ukraine is 36 million.
  • The official number of civilian deaths in Ukraine is 11,500 – everybody agrees that the actual number is much higher.

In short, the unspeakable sadness and misery before us represented a tiny fraction of the total, spread over a country with a tenth the population of the United States.

A stanza from a Stephen Stills song came into my mind, and hasn’t left since…

I think I see a valley, covered in bones in blue.
All the brave soldiers that cannot get older
Been asking after you.

They tell us that they figure every truck saves at least one life. If the truck that Conrad and I drove over saves one life… if it’s one less grave in that field, one less widow (or widower) and mother tending to flowers and candles, then I am content.

Ocsana said we’d be there 10-15 minutes. We were there for half an hour, and they had to drag the group away. As I walked out, I passed by a handful of new graves that hadn’t been “fixed up.” But the headstones were there, fresh from the past week or two. The last thing I passed was a new, empty grave, still being dug.

We next visited a memorial to the “Heavenly Hundred” – the people who died in the uprising of 2014. This was the push by the Ukrainian people to align with Europe, rather than Russia. Ocsana argued that that uprising ultimately led to Putin’s invading in 2022 – if the Ukrainian people could overthrow a corrupt dictator and align with free Europe, what was to stop the Russian people from doing the same?

Handing over the trucks

At 11:00 that morning, we had a little ceremony to hand over the trucks to the military. As we’d been alerted, all the cargo had been removed within hours of the trucks arriving, but the vehicles themselves were still there.

Some of the Ukrainian soldiers were there, and I’ll admit, I was in awe. These men are risking, in many cases giving, their lives for the independence of their nation. And not in some theoretical indirect sense. I am a child of the Vietnam War – do not try to sell me a narrative that our involvement there informed American freedom.

But these men, in their camo pants, and olive shirts – they are the only thing that stands between Ukraine and subjugation to an unspeakable dictator and despot.

A few people gave short speeches. In the group, there were three Americans, though I’m the only one who lives in the States these days. They asked me to give a little speech on behalf of the American contingent. I don’t remember much of what I said, though a handful of people came to tell me I’d done well.

I do remember saying that right now, it didn’t seem that the U.S. Congress could pass a law stating that the sky is blue. But somehow, they came together and passed aid to Ukraine. I paused, and the other two Americans, Tim and Doug, in unison, finished the thought for me: “We only wish it could be more.”

Then we took more pictures. They wanted a group photo of all the drivers. I knelt down in the front to make getting all of us in-frame easier. Then I was suddenly aware of 2-3 Ukrainian soldiers who had knelt down next to me for the photo op.

Can you spot the two heroes in this picture?

When the photo op was over, we would head back to the hotel, where they had a nice lunch for us. Then we’d wander around the city, maybe find a cappuccino in one of the many sidewalk cafes.

Those soldiers, they’d get in our trucks, and drive them straight into Hell.

Reflection

I am sure that the reflections will continue and morph for the rest of my life. I remember when Ed Bradley, the legendary 60 Minutes correspondent, passed away, his long-time colleague, Andy Rooney, said, “I won’t live long enough to stop missing Ed Bradley.”

I won’t live long enough to forget what I experienced this past week.

Young people

Most of the drivers in our group were older. This makes sense – we elder folk generally have the money and time to do something like this. But we had a handful of young people in their early 20’s. Kids using their school break or precious early career vacations to do something truly amazing. Harriet, who drove with her dad, Andrew – she turns 18 next month.

Two of the bright stars of their generation

I went out of my way to tell them how proud I was of them, and how they’d set a terribly high bar for the rest of their lives. If they go up from there, there’s no telling what they might do for the world.

Heroes

Some of my friends have very generously and graciously said that I’m a hero for doing this. I try hard to accept compliments as given – it’s a pet peeve of mine when people pooh-pooh away a genuine compliment. But allow me a bit of nuance here…

Standing out there on the cobblestones in front of the town hall, I shook hands with heroes, and got to take pictures with heroes. Out in that infinitely sad field on the edge of town, I looked into the smiling eyes of heroes, in pictures, mounted on their graves.

Maybe David Bowie was right, and we can be heroes, just for one day. But some words – some words you want to reserve for select occasions. I have now seen and touched real heroes – I’ll never use that word lightly again.

Another trip

Will I go back?

I don’t know. My life seems to have infinite possibilities and permutations, even as I claim to be “retired.” So I’m unwilling to say that yes, I will go on another P4P convoy.

Would I go back?

In a heartbeat. I met some truly extraordinary people – the goodwill and desire to serve was palpable in every single driver I met. From the kids on break from university, to the retired couples who used it as a great excuse to get out of the house. From the ones who took side trips (including to Auschwitz and Buchenwald) to the James Martins, who set land speed records for crossing the European continent. Every one of them meant to Do Good, and did so with a matter-of-factness and humility that made me deeply proud to be included in their group.

Me, maybe I don’t want to be labeled a “hero,” but yeah, I Did Good. I think the best thing I ever did was, when Lisa and I first got married, I kept coming back, no matter how much her sons, David and John, tried to push me away. The therapist, she said, “You have one job: show up.”

“That’s pretty straightforward.”

At the time, I didn’t understand why she chuckled at me.

But I’m a simple man, and I could follow one-job instructions. So I showed up, and yes, it was a lot harder than I expected it was going to be. But I did it.

Last week, Conrad and me, we had one job, and we did it. I guess I’m just a one-job guy. And that one job – driving a truck full of medical supplies to Ukraine – that’s probably the second best thing I ever did.

What can you do?

Don’t stop reading.

Pass it along. Look up in the address bar of your browser. There’s the address for the blog entry you’re reading right now. Pick the right three people and send a link along to them. Tell them it’s an instant cure for doom-scrolling.

Send money. If you have the funds and are interested, you can always donate to Pick-ups for Peace. Look, there are hundreds – thousands of organizations out there Doing Good in the world, and they can all use your help. But none of us can help every one, and we have to choose. What I can say is that of all the organizations I’ve ever given to, I feel as good or better about this one than any other I’ve ever supported.

Make America do the Right Thing. Donald Trump, as President of the United States, literally withheld aid from Ukraine, to extort Ukrainian President Zelensky into doing an investigation into Hunter Biden. Let’s be very clear, the blood of those young Ukrainian heroes is on Trump’s hands. If he is elected again, he will no doubt spurn Ukraine’s needs so he can curry favor with his idol Vladimir Putin. And he will have to answer some day for even more Ukrainian deaths.

His vice-presidential pick, JD Vance, quoted in this Politico report, said, “I gotta be honest with you, I don’t really care what happens to Ukraine one way or another.” I encourage you to read the full Politico report – Ukraine is not all roses and rainbows. And they are at a huge disadvantage on multiple military fronts. Sure, they need trucks, but what they really need are anti-aircraft missiles and F-35s.

Get involved in the election. You can be very sure that a Harris administration will give much more aid to Ukraine than a second Trump administration. There are a hundred good reasons to vote for Kamala Harris instead of Donald Trump, but this is one of the better ones. Simply put: do you believe that, if Putin takes control of Ukraine, he’ll stop there?

Become an informed voter, and do what you can where it makes a difference. This election is going to come down to Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan (though omg Georgia and North Carolina may be in play now). Be smart about where you put your money and time – let’s make this a relative landslide.

Go on a convoy

Wait, what?

Go back and look at that group picture. Housewives, retired people, university kids. The entire spectrum came together to do something extraordinary.

Remember my story about the pair of drivers whose vehicle died right out of the starting gate? Yeah, here’s the rest of the story: those drivers were two women who had met in high school, fifty years ago. Those tough-as-nails grandmothers refused to be beaten by a recalcitrant truck. Now, somewhere down the road, one or more Ukrainian soldiers are going home to their families because of those two rock stars.

So please don’t tell me you can’t do it. Drop a letter to Georgia ([email protected]) and tell her I sent you. Then start packing.

All the brave soldiers that cannot grow older
Been asking after you.
Categories
Fishing Life As It Happens

A meditation on fly-fishing

Buying tomatoes

So there I was at the Lansing, North Carolina farmer’s market, buying tomatoes from the nice Rose Mountain Farm lady.

Before the farmer’s market people set up their pop-ups

“Where are y’all located?”

“We’re up Big Horse Creek Road.”

“I’m headed up there this afternoon to go fishing.”

“That’s the main reason that anybody goes up there. Do you go for the meditation, or to catch fish?”

Well, let me think about that for a moment. It was 27 years ago that I first tried fly-fishing, thanks to my dear departed cousin Dean C. Jones. Once you’ve had a trout take a dry fly off the top the water, man, you’re way more hooked than the fish is.

But I’m not a studied fly fisherman. I don’t read the books, watch the training videos, take the classes, any of it. Because the truth is that it really is a meditation for me. A few days earlier, I was chatting with the fellow at the Old Orchard Creek General Store and Café, and told him that I was headed out to go fishing.

“I hope you catch some.”

“If I’m standing in a trout stream on a day like this, and I’m not blissfully happy, then that’s on me.”

“Well, that’s right.”

I find myself settled just looking at this picture. Imagine actually being there.

So I was tempted to tell the lady that it’s all about the meditation. But then I had an interesting thought, and relayed it to her:

“The more I meditate, the more fish I seem to catch.”

In the last year or two, I’ve started to have some real success catching fish. On this current trip, I’ve caught a handful of trout in Little Horse Creek, right here in front of my AirBnB.

I don’t stop to take pictures, but I promised my AirBnB hosts one pic. He went right back in.

This is significant because N.C. Wildlife doesn’t stock Little Horse Creek. They do stock Big Horse Creek, of which Little Horse Creek is a tributary. Some fish make it up there, but fewer than in the stocked streams. And maybe they get a tad smarter after being up there a while. So I’m particularly proud of myself for catching fish in a stream they don’t stock.

Here’s the thing: when I go out for a few hours of fly fishing, I’d like to catch one trout. The difference between getting skunked and catching one beautiful fish is enormous. After that, my cup overfloweth. But on this trip, and the last couple, I seem to catch 6-8 fish every day. That’s after years of thinking that if I caught two fish, it was an extra special day.

October 14th, 2023

I headed up to the northern end of Big Horse Creek, to the catch-and-release section. From there to the Virginia state line, you can’t keep any fish. I never keep any anyway, but it’s particularly beautiful and fishy water.

I also have a theory that the fish are a bit smarter. A lot of people in this county fish for dinner, so the stocked fish go from stream to pan. But in this stretch, they get put back. Where maybe they learn their lesson and don’t bite at every single buggy-looking thing that floats over.

I dunno if that’s true or not, but I sure had a tougher time getting strikes than when I was down on the lower part of the creek. Still, I managed to land three rainbows and one beautiful brown.

Around 5:30pm, it was getting dark-ish, and there was a light rain falling. I had determined I was going to have to scale a fairly steep hill up to Big Horse Creek Road to return to my car (it’s just a whole lot easier than clambering back downstream to my entry point).

I was pretty proud of myself for catching four fish in the “tough” section of the stream. And darn proud for climbing out of that canyon back up to the road without too much exertion. All that walking and jogging pays off.

Then a thing happened. I stood up at the top of the hill, and looked down the road, back to the car. Saw this:

I wanted to find the Rose Mountain Farm lady, and tell her I’d been mistaken when we chatted that afternoon. The correct answer is, “Yes ma’am – it’s all about the meditation.”


P.S. On most browsers, you can right-click on any image and open the image in a new tab. No picture will properly convey the beauty of the scene that awaited me when I reached the top of the hill. But you’ll do your heart good by filling your screen with that for a minute and just taking it in.

Categories
Life As It Happens

Travel as training

Use it or Lose it

I think I first heard the expression “Use it or lose it” proximate to vacation accrual caps at a job. I remember that my dad had to take time off from his job at the Department of the Navy, or he would exceed the statutory 240 hours leave time cap.

As you age, you hear the phrase in a more important context. That which you want to have available to you in life, you must exercise. Want your heart to keep beating regularly? Push your heart rate to higher-than-normal levels so it stays in shape. If you want your muscles to continue working, you exercise them, remind them how to do their job.

And it’s no secret that mental activity prolongs mental acuity. Stop using your mind, and it will stop working.

We even have a phrase, “I’m rusty.” Just like a gate. If the gate doesn’t open and close occasionally, it rusts in one position.

Which brings me to travel. I love going places. It’s often the destination, but sometimes, as Stephen Stills put it, “It’s no matter, no distance – it’s the ride.” A few weeks ago, our granddaughter, Elena, asked if we could take her on another trip on the ferry across the bay to San Francisco. “Why do you want to go, sweetie?”

“Just to see somewhere different,” said a kid who has spent a full third of her life under the shadow of Covid.

I dig, Elena, I dig. I’m excited to get on a plane, or a train, or in the car, and go. To open the hotel curtains to a new vista, to land at a new airport, to taste cuisine that I’ve only gotten from expats. I’m pretty sure I get this from my mom, which is a bit of a sad story. She was born working poor in Charlotte, North Carolina at the beginning of the Depression. In most worlds, she would have never had the chance to travel at all. But thanks to a junior high school journalism teacher, she met my dad. They both got graduate educations, and went onto live a comfortable upper-middle class life that afforded plenty of opportunity and discretionary money for travel.

Thing is, my dad loved nothing more than to sleep in his own bed. Or a tent. So we did a fair amount of camping when I was a kid. We camped across the U.S. twice, and that in itself was extraordinary. But Mom, she would have loved the life of travel that I’ve known, and used to beg me to send her postcards so she could imagine (and look up on Google) the places I went. Hawaii and Alaska. India and Fiji. Australia and France and Russia. Puerto Rico and Costa Rica. The Netherlands, Italy (one place Mom did get to go, which she loved), England, and Mexico.

When I step outside a strange airport, my computer bag on my back, and a small suitcase pulled behind me, I feel alive.

Covid was not as hard on me as it was on many. I was already semi-retired when it hit, so I didn’t have the worries of doing a job remotely. I had the luxury to ask others to bring me groceries if I didn’t feel safe going in the grocery store. And I was fortunate to have my family around me, so I had a pod of loved ones to keep me sane.

But not traveling drove me nuts. After years of going when and where I wished, living overseas, and all those airports, waking up to the same horizon every day was tough.

So my trip to the Washington, D.C. area, and on to London and the north of England, was partially to see old friends, partially to “see another place,” and maybe, almost subconsciously, to exercise that muscle. To prevent rust from forming on my traveling shoes.

It started with Lisa, bless her heart, dropping me at the Coliseum BART station at 5:30am, on her way to Sacramento for her clinicals at UC Davis Medical Center. A person of my age and means doesn’t normally take BART from the East Bay to SFO, and definitely not catching the 5:40am train. No, they take a taxi, or somebody gives them a ride. If they’re tech-savvy, they grab a Lyft.

Where’s the challenge in that?

With my Clipper card loaded into G-pay, I tap my phone on the gate, board the train, and pull into a double seat with my suitcase and computer backpack. Change at Balboa Park and cruise into the International terminal at SFO. Money saved equals a nice dinner somewhere.

The plane is scheduled to leave at 8:30am, but it’s shortly after noon before we get away. If this sort of thing bothers you, then travel is not your bag. Drama-free flight across the country, though I am always blown away at the vistas you get of the United States from 35,000 feet.

Hello, Washington

We land at Dulles, I grab my suitcase and head to the area to catch the shuttle to the rental car center. Wait, no. I’ve leveled up on rental cars. I now use Turo, which is AirBnB for rental cars. So I message Razan, whom I’ve never met, and tell her that I’m headed out exit door #4. She replies that she’ll be there in ten minutes. She arrives, we shake hands, she looks at my driver’s license. I take pictures of the car, and ask her if she needs a ride somewhere. No, her husband is waiting in a car behind us. She wishes me a nice trip and I’m gone – total time elapsed, less than 5 minutes. Hasta la vista, Enterprise.

Bullet point plug for Turo:

  • It’s way faster than renting from the rental companies. Five minutes rather than 45-60 minutes. Multiplied by two for pick-up and drop-off.
  • It’s cheaper. These people are just trying to make a few bucks – not support a giant company’s staff and shareholders.
  • Your money is going to fellow humans, not a big company.

Drive over to Maryland, and get to my hotel in suburban Rockville. They want $20 per night to park. I don’t scoff at them out loud, because that would be rude. But the fact is that we are surrounded – surrounded, I tell you – by half-empty free parking lots for the retail and office establishments around us. I choose, instead, to park in the lot for the hotel’s restaurant (clearly labeled as for the restaurant only). You see, the restaurant was shuttered during the depths of the pandemic, so it’s Reserved Parking for a restaurant that doesn’t exist. Three nights at the hotel, that’s another $60 saved. Will the $60 make a difference in my life? Of course not, but part of the travel game is keeping score. I’m a cross-Bay Lyft, Enterprise-Turo savings, and three nights of hotel parking ahead, and it’s still my first day on the road. [1]

Three days spent in the D.C. area visiting friends and family. The big treat for me was fishing in Watts Branch, a couple of miles from the house where I grew up. I was driven over Watts Branch probably 3-4 times a day for most of my growing up years. As an avid fisherman, I always thought, “I wonder if there’s fish in there.” But it was a long hilly bike ride, and by the time I could drive, other priorities had taken over.

Now, I had a car and no higher priorities, so I drove out to Watts Branch and spent two hours not getting a single strike on a handful of different flies. The web says there’s fish in there, and I believe them. But what was important was that I fulfilled a childhood dream – to fish those waters nearly in my back yard.

There’s fish in there – I just didn’t catch ’em

Sunday evening was Lyle Lovett at the Birchmere with friend and poker buddy, Carrie. I missed live music more than I missed traveling, and I haven’t seen Lyle in far too long. “We missed you, Lyle!” a woman yelled from the crowd. “Ma’am, I reckon we missed you more than you missed us.”

Carrie and I had planned to play poker after the show, but it was 10:00pm by the time it got out, and we discovered that we were old. So we agreed to meet the next morning at the MGM National Harbor. We helped start a $1/3 game (my buy-in already secured), played for a couple of hours (both booking wins), then had brunch and caught up some more.

Then I was back to Dulles, dropped the car with Razan (two minutes total time together) and checked in for my overnight flight to London Heathrow.

Fishing a boyhood memory, then dinner, Lyle Lovett, and poker with a good friend, and get on a plane to cross the Pond. All in under 30 hours. This is how you work your travel muscles.

Goodnight, Washington

Transatlantic overnight flights are where we separate the “tourists” from the “road warriors.” The more of them you do, the more tricks you learn.

  • Wear comfortable, loose-fitting clothes. Be prepared to layer for both cold and warm.
  • Stay hydrated.
  • A hoodie with zippered pockets is invaluable. The hood allows you to keep the cold fan air off your head. The zippered pockets are where you reliably store phones and passports.
  • Conversely, putting a phone or passport in a seat-back pocket is a great way to destroy a trip.
  • Protein bars are your friend
  • Yes, I know you can choose from 50 different movies and 25 TV shows. Do not do this. Your job is to sleep if you possibly can. Whatever will help you to sleep (white noise, alcohol, medication), use it.
  • If your finance permit, paying for seat upgrades is often good value.

In my case, I’d stumbled onto a cheap fare that included business class travel eastbound from IAD-LHR. I must have reviewed that itinerary 15 times before I actually believed it.

Pro tip: the eastbound travel (U.S. East Coast to Europe) is five times harder and more grueling than the westbound leg. I’m sure it has something to do with flying overnight and time advancing. If you have to choose, upgrading the eastbound fare is far more important.

Another pro tip: if you’re sitting in business class, they’re going to offer you a fancy meal and expensive wine right after take-off. Say no thanks (beforehand) – put your eyeshades on, and go to sleep immediately. You don’t have that long to actually sleep so you need to make the most of it.

I’ve had the same eyeshade for longer than I can remember. It’s soft, comfortable, and produces pure darkness. I stretched the full-recline seat out (OMG, is this real life?) and said goodnight to the Atlantic Ocean.

Good morning, Heathrow

Landing in London at 6:00am is the poster child for testing travel muscles. If you’re in absolute top form, you might get 4-5 hours of sleep on the plane. Then you’re woken up when your body thinks it’s 10:00pm, and wants to settle down and do nothing. But instead, you’re marched off the plane half-asleep (why you never put a phone or passport in a seat back pocket). I think the walk to customs and immigration is on the order of half a mile.

T2 – the Queen’s Terminal. A lot nicer than baggage claim at other LHR terminals

Smooth sailing through customs, get my bag, and start walking toward the Heathrow Express. Another half mile away, and now I’m hauling my roller bag.

En route, I get a text from the Heathrow Express people. They warn me that there’s a transit strike, and the London Underground (aka “The Tube”) is pretty much non-operational. But they are running normally.

Jump on the Heathrow Express and it’s a quick 15 minutes to Paddington Station. Sure enough, signs outside the Paddington Tube station warn of “longer journey times.” Oh, the British are so very understated.

Traveler pro tip: before you leave, see if your mobile phone plan has an international option. If not, they’ll probably sell you a two-week package or similar at a reasonable price. Buy it. Lisa and I somehow stumbled into a T-Mobile plan (for old people) that is all you can eat phone, data, text, and hotspot for $90/month for two lines. And it includes 2G coverage in 40-odd countries. I cannot overstate the joy and relief of taking my phone out of airplane mode at Heathrow, waiting 30 seconds, and getting a text from T-Mobile that says, “Welcome to the UK,” with a bunch of information about data rate limits, and such.

Why did I just bring this up? Because when I see that the Tube isn’t running, I just fire up Google Maps. It’s 2.4 miles to my hotel near King’s Cross. And it’s hardly raining at all.

Visualize your trainer at the gym walking up and increasing the slope on your treadmill, just for giggles. This is what the Universe did for my travel training. Fortunately, I’d been doing my walking training too, and 2.4 miles didn’t seem like a big deal at all.

So I set a course on my phone for my hotel, and walk out of Paddington Station into a drizzly, grey London morning, feeling alive, alert, and grateful.

By Ed g2s - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=119352
The walk along Marylebone Road looked like this, only grey and drizzly.

Hello London

I spend the next two days bombing around London and seeing a couple of friends who live there. But mostly just enjoying the town, which has always been one of my favorites. I eat curry and scones because London, and Lebanese food in Edgware Road, because to miss that would be awful.

Mostly, it’s an opportunity to visit a city that I love, and I revel in the fact that I know my way around London. This isn’t because I’m cool, or important. It’s because I’m lucky. So wandering the streets of London, going significant distances without looking at Google Maps, is a way to experience gratitude. And to keep my travel muscles in shape.

Going North

I had a date with an old PokerStars buddy to go fly fishing with him near his home in Ilkley, in North Yorkshire. I’d never been to North Yorkshire, so this was an awesome opportunity to see an old friend and see somewhere different.

Everybody in England travels on the train, and, in small enough doses, it’s kinda fun. The train to Ilkley, via Leeds, leaves out of King’s Cross Station, [2] so me and my two bags rocked up there. There is something iconic about a London train station, and King’s Cross, being one of the biggest, doesn’t disappoint. Get my breakfast at Pret a Manger (doesn’t everybody get breakfast at Pret?) and am on my way northward.

The difference between London and the north of England is like that between New York City and the rural South of the U.S. In fact, the parallels run close in many ways. It’s nearly a different language, and a different way of life – a different world.

This is provably not a London hotel.
This, however, is provably a cheese shop. If you think this is funny, it is.

Colin and I caught zero fish, and had to get out of the River Nidd earlier than we wanted because, well, it’s like this… when you’ve gone to the trouble to drive to a river, get all your gear on, and wade in, it can be tempting to just stay there and fish. Even if conditions aren’t optimal. Now, if that means “not catching any fish,” don’t make me laugh – fishing can be great even if you’re not catching anything, and Colin and I both dig that.

However, there comes a time when you think, “This could end poorly.” Very specifically, when the water level is 18″ higher than normal, the river is really ripping around you, and you think, “If I fall at this point, the best case outcome is that I come up very wet and very cold. The worst case outcome, I don’t even want to think about.” That’s when wise fishermen get out of the water. Colin and I knew when to climb out of the River Nidd.

And yet, we had a blast. He drove me past the super-secret NSA installation (yes, I said “NSA”) in the middle of nowhere in North Yorkshire. Giant golf-ball antennas dotting the countryside, side by side with the cows and the sheep.

Travel is so cool.

Hello London, again

Another train journey, and back to London. This time I stayed hard on the shores of Leicester Square, not least because it put me close to London poker, and was an easy Tube shot to Paddington Station when I was going to fly out of Heathrow.

I spent my time wandering around, visiting old haunts…

If this means something to you, you’re a PokerStars O.G.

Looking for a place called Lee Ho Fuks – gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

Somewhere in Covent Garden, I had an afternoon snack of a fresh baked scone, because London, and a coffee drink, which was their house-prepared hot chocolate from scratch, with two shots of house-roasted espresso poured in, because OMG. Warren Zevon can keep the beef chow mein.

Then I got the covid test that was required to get back into the U.S. That involved two two-mile round trips on foot to get to Boots in Oxford Street, but I didn’t begrudge a single step of it. What was it Samuel Johnson said – “When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.”

I ended the day and trip with a ten-hour poker session, which I document in full here. Don’t read it unless you like long poker tales.

Final exam

A story that includes an all-night poker session should probably end there. But the Universe wasn’t done with shenanigans.

I boarded the United Airlines 787 at Heathrow, mentally and physically prepared for the ten-hour flight to SFO. I’d even found a cheap upgrade into Premium Economy, which seemed well worth it. Locked in an aisle seat and was ready to roll.

Get to my seat, 22D, and there’s a guy sitting in it. White male, 24 years old.

“Excuse me, I think this is my seat.”

“Oh, my bad, I’m on the wrong side of the [three-seat] row.”

He switches over, and now his buddy, white male, 24 years old, returns. And he is vibrating with discomfort and angst. Come to find out he’s in the center seat between us. He had poached another random seat in Premium Economy, but had been sent back to his official seat.

It turns out this fellow has claustrophobia. I knew this trip was going too well. He is sitting in the center seat, all but crawling out of his skin. And he’s going to be sitting next to me for the next 10-11 hours.

I’m sitting there, trying to figure out what my options are (the plane is jam packed), when Mindy, the flight attendant, approaches me, and beckons me out of my seat.

“This gentleman is extremely uncomfortable in a center seat.”

“So I gathered.”

“I am not asking you to do this, but would you consider swapping seats with him?”

I pause. I try to show grace where I can, but this is a big ask.

“Tell you what, see what else you can work out, and if you have no other options, yes, I’ll swap.”

She was extremely appreciative, and went back to furious texting on her phone. In the meantime, the guy next to me is vibrating with discomfort. It is clear that we’ll all be better off if I swap with him.

Ten minutes later, Mindy is back, and addresses Vibrating Guy.

“Sir, I have three seats together – 35 J, K, L for you, in economy, if you’d like those.”

“But, I paid 325 bucks for this upgrade.”

The road warriors among you will know what happened, and how quickly it happened.

Me: “Three-seat row in economy?”

Mindy [brightening visibly]: “Yes sir.”

“I’ll take it.”

“You won’t get a rebate on your upgrade, sir.”

“That’s not a problem.”

The road warriors here are laughing. Getting a three-seat row to yourself is 80% as good as being in a lay-flat seat in business/first. No, you don’t get the fancy china and warmed mixed nuts before dinner. But what you do get is space and privacy, which is really what you’re paying for up front. At least it’s what I’m paying for. Given a choice between one Premium Economy seat and three Economy seats, the latter is a snap no-brainer choice.

I grab my bag from the overhead compartment and follow Mindy back to 35 J, K, L before somebody comes to their senses. Her relief and gratitude is palpable.

“Can I bring you champagne?”

“Thank you no, I’m in good shape here.”

“Well, I so appreciate it. Let me know if there’s anything we can get you.”

Mindy, seen from my new seats, plural

Before we took off, the purser (chief of the flight attendant staff) came by to personally thank me as well, and to offer me anything I needed. There’s times when it’s too bad I don’t have a taste for champagne.

But the Universe had an extra twist coming…

Right before the doors closed, the kid who had created all the drama shows up at my seat. He was pale, and you could see he was in the after-shock of a serious claustrophobic episode.

“Man, you saved my life. If you have PayPal, I can send you money to cover the cost of the upgrade.”

“Thank you, but that’s not at all necessary. I’m perfectly fine here, and I’m glad it worked out. You have a good flight.”

“Well thank you. Now I will.”

On the heels of my all-night poker session, I lay down across my three seats, put white noise on the ear buds, and pulled my eye shade down. We were more than halfway to San Francisco when I woke up.

It’s no matter, no distance…

I had forgotten how much I love travel, and forgotten how much I missed it. This trip reminded me of that, and let me get my travel muscle back into shape. It was grand to be in London again, and a joy to see North Yorkshire for the first time.

But the best part was waking to a different horizon, hearing a London or Yorkshire accent in the voices, and seeing somewhere different.

It’s the ride.


[1] Carrie denominates such wins in “buy-ins.” Usage:
Me: “I just saved $40 on a cross-Bay Lyft, $200 on a rental car, and $60 on parking.”
Carrie: “That’s a full $1/3 buy-in. Well played.”

[2] We were at the King’s Cross train station for the family’s first UK visit (2002?). It was when the Harry Potter books had just come out. I made the boys stand at a point where I could take a picture with tracks 9 and 10 in the frame behind them. They thought it was lame beyond words. Fast forward 20 years – there is an entire Harry Potter store immediately adjacent to those two tracks, and a giant sign indicating track 9 3/4.

Categories
Life As It Happens

A Personal Record

[This post originally appeared on May 2, 2021]

So I’m at the San Leandro Marina, getting ready to go for a 7-mile run. That’s part of my training for Not the Monterey Half Marathon – more about that later. It’s a beautiful Sunday morning, I’m feeling good, and as ready as I can ever be to jog/walk seven miles.

I’m parallel parking our new plug-in hybrid Chrysler Pacifica minivan in a marked space along the road, and as I’m doing it, I incorrectly estimate where the front of the car is (hint: a lot further ahead of me than it is in the Prius). I manage to tap the rear bumper of the car in front of me.

Sh*t.

A 40-year-old black woman in running clothes jumps out of the car that I had just bumped, understandably pissed off. I immediately mask up, get out of the car, profusely apologizing from the start. We look and neither of us can see any evidence of the bump. I offer to give her my insurance info. She says, “Don’t worry about it, but learn to park your damn car.” Which, fair enough.

I get back in the car, assemble my running paraphenalia, put on sunscreen and head out. The woman whose car I had hit had already left her car and headed off down the same direction toward the ocean-side path that everybody takes. I warm up, get my tunes and GPS fired up, and start my running app.

Half a mile into my run, I realize that I better not do any math in my head (“What percentage of 7.0 is 0.5?”) so I need to think about something else. That is when, to quote Elena Catherine, I get an idea from my brain. 

Praising all the necessary people, including Lynn Conway (look her up) for the smartphone, I continue walking and tapping into my Galaxy S9. Then I strap it back onto my arm and resume running. 

As I’d hoped, a few minutes later, I see the woman whose car I’d bumped (she had a recognizable gait). I put my mask on, turn off my tunes, and catch up with her. She looks at me, and even though she’s wearing reflective sunglasses and a mask, I’m pretty sure she’s not smiling.

“Ma’am, I felt really bad about bumping your car back there. But I saw your sweatshirt…” I hold out the phone so she can see the screenshot of the $100 donation I sent to Black Girls Run

I think I see her cheekbones rise. I definitely see the thumbs-up she gives me. “I appreciate you. You have a good day.” “Yes ma’am, you too. Enjoy your run.” 

Even with the extended slow pace while I was tapping into the phone, I get the seven miles in under 90 minutes, which was my goal when I first set out. My running app puts up a sticker that says it’s a New Personal Record – I’ve had the app for 2-3 years now and haven’t run that far since it’s been turned on. I have 7-8 half-marathons under my water belt, so seven miles isn’t a personal record. 

But having my brain come up with an idea for such a quick and relevant apology – I think my app should have given me a Personal Record sticker for that.